Today, we were asking for and giving advice, based loosely on this game. Maybe you had to be there, but it was a riot. What follows is mostly what was given as bad or “ugly” advice, but sometimes it was meant to be good, as well. My students also seemed to have a little trouble understanding that the problems were imaginary, at least in these first few cases when I was talking.

• Responses to “I have no luck with boys. What should I do?”: 
  • “Try me!”
  • “Try girls!”
  • “If girls don’t work, try an animal!”
• Responses to “My boyfriend left me for another girl. What should I do?”
  • “Take me!” (Or alternatively, “Take [name of student X]!”)
  • “You call 2de 4 [the class I was teaching, full of rugby players] and we beat!”
• Responses to “My boyfriend left me for another boy. What should I do?”
  • “Cry. Just cry.  Cry a lot.”
  • “Change of sex.”
  • “Try girls!”
• Responses to “My neighbor’s apartment smells bad. What should I do?” (a little realism here)
  • “You kill.”
  • “You put fire on his apartment.”
  • “You become dirtier than him, then maybe he understand.”
• Responses to “The police discovered me smoking marijuana.  What should I do?”
  • “Run very fast.  Because… dogs.”
• Some problems invented by my students:

1. “My cat ate cigarettes.” Advice: “Smoke the cat.”
2. “My father is Sarkozy.” Advice: “Hide.”
3. “My grandmother is a serial killer.” Advice: “Kill her, and continue the series.”
4. “My girlfriend is pregnant and her father want kill me.” Advice: “Leave the country for fifty years.”
5. “I kill my friend.”  Advice: “Cut the body and give to your dog.”

The one that cracked me up the most will not seem as funny in writing, but I have to try. One of my students said “My mo-zer eet me evary day,” which made me laugh. Finally he understood and said “No! Not eet–eet!” and made a hitting gesture.

In French he added an aside about how she was a cannibal, but I was giggling so uncontrollably that it was hard to pay attention. Luckily, he was laughing too. Also luckily, he is a good student who talks a lot, so I doubt this will have any ill effects.

Posted in France, funny, student responses, teaching by rachel